just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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