Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
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I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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