her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize