Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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