You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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