I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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