no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
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I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
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Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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