I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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