I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
God I need to hump something, right now.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize