Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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