is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize