Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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