If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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