U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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