Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize