Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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