i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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