My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize