It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize