Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
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eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
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Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Two words: blizzard sex
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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