think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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