Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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