Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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