Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize