I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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