drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
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We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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