apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize