Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
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since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
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Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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