As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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