look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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