My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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