she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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