she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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