and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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