some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
we're so committed to being not committed
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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