i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
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I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
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Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
We are all done wearing pants today
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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