There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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