my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize