I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize