Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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