I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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