Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize