I puked a lego.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize