It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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