and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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