shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize