Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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