it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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