Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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