margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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