The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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